Excuses, Excuses

Beautiful lilies from my hubs to cheer me up when I received my diagnosis

For the loyal few who read this blog from time to time I hope you're still with me.  When the summer started I had a big list of goals for this blog and my little Etsy shop.  But both have been neglected.

It's been a bit of a bumpy ride this summer.  Nothing like last summer, so I can't complain much.  In late spring I noticed my favorite jeans were getting just a tad too tight and I was growing increasingly tired despite getting a full night's sleep.  I just figured I needed to make some minor adjustments to my lifestyle.  I cut out sugar and processed carbs, signed up for a Zumba class that I absolutely love and started incorporating even more fruits and veggies in my diet.  This did help, but not as much as I had hoped.  Instead of getting better, my condition just continued to get worse.  I kept gaining weight, I had the attention span of an ant, my skin was dry and patchy, and my hair was thin and lacked luster.  I kept trying to eat better and exercise more.  I tried different cleansers, moisturizers, and products for my hair.  Nothing helped.  I was beginning to think that maybe I was just aging prematurely.  But something still felt off.  I knew it had to be something internal related to either my hormones or my thyroid.

At the beginning of August I went to my doctor for a series of blood tests. It was discovered that I have Hashimoto's Disease.  I feel very fortunate that I learned about this while it is in it's early stages.  Some people can live with this disease (and all the symptoms I had) for years and not even know it.  It sounds strange, even to myself, but I was nearly giddy when I received my diagnosis.  I was driving myself mad doing all the things that I know I should do to lose weight and have more energy with no results. I was beginning to think the problem was all in my head and that I just wasn't trying hard enough.

But I still have to work hard to maintain my health.  I'm currently on a low-glycemic gluten free diet.  It hasn't been as hard to adapt as I first thought.  Luckily, I've always been concerned about nutrition and what I feed my family. I don't rely heavily on processed foods or refined carbs for meals.  It has been challenging though.  Some of the foods that are part of a low-glycemic diet like whole grain breads and pastas, are foods that I cannot have because they contain gluten.  And some gluten free foods like gluten free breads and pastas, I can't have because they have a high glycemic index.  So basically I am on a reformed version of the Paleo diet with the occasional serving of rice or tortillas.  About once a week I try to adapt a new recipe from Pinterest which is actually kind of fun (when they turn out good).

This little hiccup in my personal health has taught me a valuable lesson.  I learned just how much physical health and well being affects creativity and spirituality too.  It was hard to focus on the things that bring me such joy and peace when my body was such a mess.  That alone has been a huge motivator in doing all that I have to do to create an even healthier lifestyle for myself and my family.

The good news is I'm back on track.  The supplements that I've been taking as well as the changes in my diet have made a noticable difference.  The change is so dramatic that I rarely crave some of the foods I've had to give up.  I have more energy for both my family and my business.  Which is good, because I've got a lot of great ideas for this blog and new items for the shop.

Take care ya'll

Identity Crisis

Please excuse my absence ... and my lack of pictures to go with this post.  Summer has finally arrived in our quiet little part of the valley.  I've spent the past few weeks trying to be a good mom and keeping my kids away from the TV as much as possible.  Which means there's not much (computer) screen time for mommy either.

But the biggest thing that has kept me away is the recent business identity crisis that I've developed.  Before "officially" starting Winona Gray I devoured every book published on the topic of starting your own creative business, poured over blog entries written by those I admire in the design industry about how they got started, and took every little piece of advice given by these individuals to heart. They all suggest one thing: write a mission statement for your business so you have a clear vision of what your business is and what it is not.  To date I have not written a mission statement.  Which totally chaffs me because I am a stickler for doing certain things in a proper order.  (ie:  I don't sweep the kitchen floor until I've wiped down the counters so I can sweep up all the yucky little crummies that fall on the floor from the counter .... I blame my grandmother for this one)  There is no mission statement because I'm still trying to develop a clear vision for my business.  My little Etsy shop is a laboratory of sorts.  It's a proving ground for me until I feel like I've got the following and the product that can support a self-standing e-commerce site.  And just like any science experiment certain elements must be added or subtracted until the desired result is obtained.

But I may have taken too much  of that advice to heart and followed the business examples of others a little too closely.  This caused me to limit what I create, what I put in the shop, and ultimately myself.  So for right now I've just decided to create what I love and what makes me happy.  So for the rest of the summer you will be seeing new products popping up in the shop.  I've already played around with some scrapbook materials and found I have a lot of fun creating collections.  There will also be some digital products and event stationery designs coming soon.

I'll try to do better about keeping you posted too.

Journaling Cards

I used to be a big scrapbooker.  Sadly, I did most of my best scrapbooking before I became a mother.  I managed to do a pretty good job for Mr. Gray's first year, but I burnt myself out to the point that I didn't scrap a single page until just before Miss Winona's first birthday.  An entire three years later.

The thought of bringing out all of the cutters, the papers, and embellishments overwhelms me. It's not something I can do easily with the little ones around ... guillotine cutters and a curious 4 year old boy do not mix well.  But the worst part, the part I absolutely loath, but that is absolutely crucial is the journaling.  I hate trying to get journaling to fit in a layout.

I'm loving some of the new trends that have developed during my scrapbooking hiatus and I'm excited to pick it up again.  So many new products are about getting back to basics and keeping things simple. They're focused on what the real purpose of scrapbooking is: to preserve treasured memories.  I'm currently obsessed with Project Life and SMASH books.  The use of mini books for special occasions like family vacations  is starting to appeal more to me too. They're perfect for when you have lots of pictures that you want to scrap, but you don't necessarily want them all in your yearly family album.  It's like all of the unwritten rules of scrapbooks have been thrown out the window.  They really are "scrap"books now.  Paint chips from freshly painted rooms, concert ticket stubs, Instagram shots are all finding their way into scrapbooks. It's not about dressing up pretty pictures anymore.  It's about collecting the bits and pieces that make up a life.

My most favorite thing about these trends are the use of journaling cards.  So many of them are already decorated and coordinate well with other products.  Plus their size forces you to be concise, so I don't feel guilty about not wanting to write a detailed account for every page.

Just for fun I decided to try my hand at making some of my own. The thought of creating a coordinating collection of anything like scrapbook papers or fabrics has always thrilled and terrified me at the same time.  It's  something I aspire to do, but since my ideas and taste in design is all over the place I've never felt I could focus well on one theme. So here's my first attempt to create a cohesive multi-piece design.  If you like them download a set for yourself.

This is a high-quality PDF file of ten 3 x 4 inch journaling cards on two 8.5 x 11 pages of that can be printed at home. For best results I would recommend sending them to your favorite print shop to be printed on heavy cardstock. (It saves you ink plus a 1000.00 professional printer will do a much better job than the 100.00 one you have sitting on your desk ... trust me on this one).

I've had so much fun making these I'm thinking about creating a few more collections and adding them to the shop as digital downloads. Let me know what you think.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD JOURNALING CARDS

Felt Flower Pattern

Just to clarify, this isn't a craft blog. I'm not a crafty person.  Knitting is about as far into the craft realm as I tend to go.  But I did take a class on how to make felt flowers a couple of years ago.  The patterns that I have for felt flowers have a lot of dimension and would be too difficult to attach to an envelope for my Elevated Envelope project. So I decided to create a pattern of my own.  I wanted something simple that would reflect my little floral illustration, and that could be "flattened" so to speak in order to endure the rigors of the mail sorting process.

Clearly it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out it's just a bunch of circles stacked on top of each other.  But I decided to share the pattern I made for myself  to make it easy for anyone who wants to add these to their summer craft repertoire. With some adult supervision it's an easy kid-friendly project.

I started with the felt. I chose to use 100% wool felt, but there are different kinds with different price points.  Alison from The Allison Show does a phenomenal job of explaining this in her Craft School series.  If you want to upcycle an old sweater like I did check out this great tutorial. (Remember the time your favorite cashmere sweater accidentally made it's way into the washing machine. Then you can skip the tutorial. Congratulations! You know how to make felt !) You will need at least two colors, one for the petals and one for the leaves and the small center. But if you have lots of different colors at your disposal feel free to mix things up a bit.

Even though I sewed my flower together, this can easily be done with a hot glue gun or any craft glue that is compatible with fabric.

You can use the pattern to cut your felt in one of two ways. You can either cut out each shape in the pattern, pin them onto your felt, and then trace each shape onto the felt using a washable sewing marker. Or you can use a piece of freezer paper ( my method of choice). Trace the pattern on to freezer paper.  Cut out each shape.  Place the waxy side of the paper down on your felt and iron them on with a hot dry iron.  The freezer paper will stick to the felt while you cut so no pinning or marking is required.  And don't panic if your circles come out less than perfect ... I think the little imperfections add charm.

Arrange the two leaves however you like.  I glued mine in the very center underneath the flower to cover the stitches.

To attach the flower to the envelopes I used alligator clips from my local beauty supply shop.  Alligator clips are great because they are very inexpensive can be used for so many different things other than hair.  Wouldn't these be fun clipped to a big tote bag? Or used to embellish a Mother's Day gift?

Have fun with this!  If you happen to take some pictures of your creations please send them my way.  I'd love to see what you come up with.


CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD YOUR PATTERN

My Elevated Envelopes

Top: The front of the envelope
Bottom: The back of the envelope.

I've been waiting to share these until I was certain that everyone in my Elevated Envelope mailing group had received theirs.  I had so much fun making these.  It was refreshing to get a way from the computer for a while and get back to making something with my hands.

For my envelopes I chose the theme of "April showers bring May flowers" since I was mailing these out towards the end of April.  All of the illustrations were done with Staedtler Aquarelle watercolor pencils.  I used a clean damp paint brush to brush water over each illustration when it was complete to bring out the watercolor effect.

The felt flower is made out of 100% wool felt from a pattern I created just for these envelopes.  The pink felt came from a sweater I purchased at a thrift store that I brought home and felted myself.  The green felt is hand-dyed by a local fiber artist that works at a quilt shop just a couple miles from my home.  Each flower is attached to an alligator clip so it can be reused in a variety of ways.

I've already received two beautiful envelopes, and I'm hoping the last two will arrive soon. I can't wait to share the ones I have received with you.  To see more great pieces of mail art. visit the Ephemera's official Elevated Envelope blog.

A Formal Introduction

Miss Winona and Mr. Gray in their Easter best

If you've been following along, you've probably read a little bit about these two.  I would like to formally introduce the inspiration behind Winona Gray Design (and everything else that I do) : Miss Winona and Mr. Gray.

When first hatched a plan for my business, one of the biggest hang-ups was choosing a name.  The obvious choice was to use my own name, but my name is fairly common and I wanted to use something a bit more creative.  Something sweet and endearing but not cloying.  Something whimsical and unique, but not too cutsey.  Something contemporary, but classic as well.

Because the arrival of my children in my life is what has inspired me to take on this creative pursuit, I decided that it was appropriate that their names should inspire the name of my business as well.

Mr. Gray (don't worry, that's not his real name) is four years old and is finishing up his first year of pre-school. He is precocious, observant, and absorbs information like a sponge.  He loves art and science, playing games, and making things with his hands.  He is a tad bit on the shy side, but is slowly coming out of his shell.  He is awfully polite. Mr. Gray gives me the sincerest heart warming "thank yous" for all the little things, from making him lunch to helping him with his homework.  He is gentle and patient with Miss Winona too, who can be a little bit of a bully sometimes.

Miss Winona is my 16 month old sweet and sassy social butterfly.  She loves to wave and greet people with a smile and two of her favorite words "hi" and "bye".  She is happy to share with others and gives hugs and kisses freely. Her other favorite word is "no", and she has earned the nickname Miss Independent.  She rattles my nerves several times a day because of  her fearless attempts to climb stairs and furniture unassisted.  Miss Winona already displays a penchant for shoes, clothes, make-up and all things girly, yet few things bring her greater happiness than playing outside in a patch of dirt.

I'm still undecided as to how much you will be seeing of these two.  But I thought you should at least make their acquaintance since they are the ones responsible for all this.

Childhood Creativity

My love for creating stationery stems from love of art in my childhood.  As a child I found joy and at times even   refuge in quite moments of creativity. My youth was all about the arts.  I drew a lot as a child and my parents even paid sacrificed for me to have private art instruction with a professional artist.  I learned to use charcoals, pastels, watercolors, oils and pencil.  I stopped taking art lessons at the end of middle school so I could put more time and focus on learning the piano, and I dabbled in creative writing from elementary school and all the way up to college.

Toward the end of high school, I laid all creative pursuits aside get ready for college.  At the time I was certain that I wanted to work in health care. My schoolwork and even some of my free time was dedicated to preparing myself for a career in that field.  I remember walking past a display for the graphic design program  and being tempted to drop by the department offices to learn more (not unlike Design Mom).  But I never had the guts to do it.  I secretly envied the Fine Art students as the walked through campus with their pad and supplies in tow.  I admired they're courage.  Frankly, the thought of relying on my art skills a la the stereotypical starving artist scared the pants off of me.  

It wasn't until my son was born that I began to truly miss my art, my music, my writing.  I realized that the adult I had become was so very different from the child that I was ... and not necessarily in a good way.  I felt the need to bring creativity to my life again, for the sake of my children.  I was incredibly blessed to have parents and grandparents that saw my passions and my talents and did nothing but encourage me to pursue them.  I want to do the same for my children.  For right now bringing art back into my life is the best way I know how.  

Children are natural fountains of creativity and artistic desire.  They never stop and think if they are "good enough" to create something.  They just do it.  It's been a joy to watch Mr. Gray create art daily.  Right now his favorite medium is "Mommy's special pencils" as he calls them.  My set of Staedtler Aqarelle Watercolor pencils that my parents gave to me for my twelfth birthday.  I recently dug them out of storage for use on my Elevated Envelopes.  He lines them up carefully as he sits on the counter, makes sure to use a clean brush and water to sweep over his masterpiece when it's complete.  I remember the day that my parents gave me the pencils.  (I even remember what I was wearing) never did I think I would see my own child use them.  These pencils have always been special to me, but now that Mr.Gray uses them, they have become even more special.

Above is a picture I snapped while working on some concepts from my Elevated Envelopes. I'm trying my hand at handlettering for the first time, and pencil drawings for the first time in a long time.  And that pretty felt will be used too.  Can't wait to show you what I come up with.  

Recovery Mode

It took a little  longer for my itty bitties to recover from their illnesses than I had hoped.  Now Miss Winona is cutting multiple teeth at once and is all out of sorts. She's usually a very sweet and happy baby. Even though she's probably not any crankier than any other child enduring the teething process, any such change in her demeanor is quite jarring.

My weekend was filled with long nights (due to the aforementioned teething) and days filled with great messages of hope and faith from leaders of my church.  They've given me a lot of food for thought in regards to the kind of mother I am, the way I treat others, and even how this business fits into my life. Paired with a lack of sleep this has caused me to feel a bit foggy in the head this morning.  

Plus I'm beating myself up just a bit. I had set this past friday as a deadline to accomplish some things for my business.  I had planned to get a Facebook page set up for the new Timeline format,  to order printed samples for new items in the shop so I can photograph them, and re-photograph some of the items I have because I'm not entirely satisfied with the first photos I took. Blogging was on that list too, so I did accomplish something. To get everything else done I may have to revisit my college days and pull a couple very late nights. I'm not sleeping much anyway ... might as well.

Today I will focus on getting my house and my head back in order. In the meantime, there are a few new items in the shop with a few more in the works and I still have my Elevated Envelopes to create and send out too  May 1 is just around the corner.

My Current Obsession: Stripes

1. Southern Weddings Magazine  2.  Dorothy Perkins 3. Pinterest  4.  Pinterest

If you've taken a peak in the shop lately you've seen a few striped backers for some of my stationery sets.  I must confess, I'm just a bit obsessed these days and I'm fighting the urge to put stripes on everything I design. And I love seeing them on everything too. From clothing, to bedding, to even exterior home design (don't you just love that striped porch roof?) I still can't quite pinpoint exactly why I love them so much. But I'm hoping that it's a trend that will stay around for awhile.  What's your favorite thing to see stripes on?

Long Overdue

I do realize it's been more than a month since I've posted anything. It's been more than a month since I've really worked on my shop too.

Most of February and a good part of March has been dedicated to taking care of sick children, and putting my house back in order after my sick children have recovered only for them to turn around and get sick again.  This vicious cycle has resulted in an exhausted, unmotivated, sick mommy who is completely drained of creative energy.

But today has brought warmth and sunshine to my little part of the world.  Once again I have been tending to two sick little ones, but they seem to be on the mend.  Our quick venture to the drug store this morning did some good for all three of us.  I tend to forget how much good a little sunlight and fresh air can do for the body and the spirit.

As soon as we returned home I opened the blinds and the windows to let a bit of the outdoors in, and got down to work cleaning and sanitizing everything in my house that doesn't move (or at least breathe).  I've been doing a little spring cleaning in the shop too and will hopefully have it order by this weekend.

I just decided to take a moment to sneak in this little post while Miss Winona is napping and Mr. Gray is out in the backyard blowing bubbles. (I also realize they have not been formally introduced yet on this blog, but that may be happening soon.)  I've get to get back to the business of being a mother, but I'll be posting more this week .... I promise.

The Elevated Envelope

image source: Ephemera Press

Last year Ephemera Press started a penpal/mail art project called The Elevated Envelope. The goal of the project was not only to get people into sending mail again, but to see who could come up with the most creative way to send mail. Participates were challenged to use envelopes not just as a vehicle for its' contents but as a canvas for art. Each person was assigned to a small group and asked to create an envelope for each of the other members of their group. So if you were in a group of 10 participants you created nine envelopes, mailed them out, and then you received nine amazingly unique pieces of mail - one from each of the other members in your group.

Sadly, I didn't find out about this nifty project until it was over. But it was such a huge success Ephemera decided to do it again! This time they have three times as many participants as last year from all over the world. I was so excited to receive my group assignment this morning. Some of the ladies in my group live in Canada, the UK, and there's even one living in my home state of North Carolina.

I have to have my envelopes finished and postmarked by May 1st, and my head is already swimming with ideas. I'll be posting my envelopes as soon as they are complete and sharing with you what I receive.

ps: sign-ups to participate in this year's Elevated Envelope has already closed, but you can sign up to receive email from Ephemera about the next one.

Minted Challenge - Women's Stationery

Beautiful contemporary stationery is hard to find in my neck of the woods. So to stay on top of the latest trends and to hone my design skills, I often participate in the design challenges at Minted.com. Last week I submitted these three entries for their Women's Stationery Challenge.

Retro Linen

Bold Stripes

Monochromatic

Winning designs get a cash prize plus the privilege of having their designs sold through Minted.com If these designs don't win I can sell them through my Etsy shop, but only after a very extensive waiting period. So if you would like to have one of these designs for yourself sooner rather than later go vote! You can click on the button on the right or on the names of the designs in this post

Wedding Invitations - Seersucker

This invitation is currently formatted for a 5.25" square, but can be tailored to a standard 5" x 7". I love the look of stacked modern time. The border and matching back are inspired by seersucker, a beautiful summer fabric that is a favorite for summer attire in the South. The inspiration for this particular design is based on an amazing wedding dress made entirely out of seersucker seen in Southern Weddings Magazine It's currently available in hydrangea blue, but I'll be adding more colors soon and of course it can be made with a custom color of your choosing as well.

Wedding Invitations - Charlotte

I've taken pictures of all the custom wedding invitations and projects that I have done the past few months, but due to lighting issues none of them have turned out the way I wanted. So until I'm able to reshoot, I will give you a peak at a couple of pre-designed invitations I have available for purchase.

The Charlotte invitation was inspired by a black and ivory custom wedding invitation I created. This piece mixes detailed Victorian inspired elements with a soft pink for a more contemporary feel. This design is also available in mint and taupe. The color can be changed to a custom color to match any wedding for a small editing fee. Matching inserts are also available.

Custom Wedding Invitations - Nasaa and Max

These invitations were created 3 weeks (yes, 3 WEEKS) before Max and Nasaa's wedding. Since these wasn't a whole lot of time I created the seal at the top as the only embellishment and kept the rest of the invitation very simple. Nasaa chose the colors. They are a peacock blue and tangerine orange, her favorite colors. I was a little nervous about how they would turn out once printed. I've never used such a dark color as a background, but they turned out great and Nasaa was very happy with them. For information about custom work send me an email at winonagraydesign@gmail.com

For my Superhero

Last summer had a lot of ups and downs for my little family. It was filled with visits from loved ones, family weddings, and a bit of a rough patch for my son Grayson as well.

In the spring my mom bought Grayson a vintage Superman T-shirt with an attached cape. The first time he saw it he refused to wear it. But by Memorial Day it had become his favorite shirt. He would put it on and run around shouting "Super Grayson to the rescue!" His "super-shirt" as he called it was a wardrobe staple, and I found myself washing it several times a week because he wore it that often.

Since Grayson was 3 (almost 4 at this point) I was making plans to enroll him in pre-school. I was feeling a little apprehensive about it all. I had some concerns about Grayson's speech. He struggled sometimes to communicate with my husband and I. He would repeat words over and over again, making requests that we could not understand and finally just giving up out of frustration.

I kept telling myself that he was just going through a phase, and that maybe I was just a little paranoid.

I had originally been planning to start my own business in July. I had been asked to design several wedding invitations that summer and decided to make the leap and officially transition my hobby into a business. But all of that was immediately put aside, and I focused all of my attention and energy on Grayson. The rest of the summer was filled with appointments with specialists. At least once a week I took Grayson to see someone. There were some weeks where we even had two and three appointments in one week. I spent hours on the phone arguing with our insurance, made countless phone calls, and poured over dozens of sites on the internet trying to find the best possible help for him. It was exhausting and frustrating, and I began to think maybe I should just bag the whole idea of starting my own business. At that point I didn't know where I would fit something like that into my life, and I thought about just dropping stationery design all together.

In August, Minted announced their Children's Stationery Design Challenge. I hadn't participated in any challenges in months. I was so busy with my two children, and working out the logistics of starting a business, that I rarely had time to create and submit anything. Plus I was getting a little frustrated. I loved doing the challenges because of the experience. I felt like I was learning so much and growing as a designer, but so far I had never earned an award or placed in a challenge.

I love children's stationery and really wanted to create an entry. But I was having a hard time conceptualizing designs. I spent several evenings drawing things out and playing around in Illustrator, but nothing was coming. All of these beautiful entries were being submitted and I felt like I didn't have anything that could compete. Late one night, just a few days before the challenge ended, I sat down at the computer to try again. My children were in bed, my husband was working late, and the house was quite. I decided to take a brake from the computer and find something useful to do. I pulled the last load of laundry out of the dryer and started folding. There in the pile was Grayson's super-shirt. I realized that of all the submissions that had been created for boys there were no superhero themed designs. I sat back down at the computer and opened Illustrator again. I pulled a color pallet together quickly then started playing with the text. Within an hour I had a completed design. I wasn't exactly happy with it, but I knew it wasn't going to get any better. I quickly submitted it and went to bed hoping that someone would leave me some feedback on where to go with the design. In the days that followed only one person left a comment. I went back and forth on whether or not to withdraw my submission. As I fell asleep the night before the deadline I decided I would withdraw it first thing in the morning. But I didn't. Mornings with little ones are crazy anyway, but this morning was particularly hectic. Before I could login to the site, the deadline had passed and all submissions were open to voting.

The winning designs were announced in October. I opened the email out of curiosity, I knew there was no way my submission could stand up to all the great pieces submitted. I was in for quite a surprise. Somehow it managed to earn a jury's award. How that happened, I'm still not sure. I'm grateful to whoever went to bat for me when it came time for these designs to be chosen. Winning this challenge was about so much more than the award. It reminded me that beautiful things can come from dark trying times. It brought encouragement to keep going in pursuit of worthwhile goals. It gave me hope.

I'm happy to report that Grayson is enrolled in a wonderful preschool and is on track to start Kindergarten. He's made great progress with his speech and constantly wows us with all that he knows and his desire to learn more. He is funny and bright. Sensitive and caring. Curious and observant. He is my superhero.

The Superhero children's stationery design is available here

I registered this URL several months ago with the intention of starting a blog about my humble little stationery business. But for whatever reason I haven't found the courage to actually post something.

I keep telling myself that I'll start when the time is right. When my business is closer to where I want it to be. When I'm more organized (in both my personal and professional life), when the holidays are over, when it's closer to wedding season .... and so forth. I've come to realize that these are just excuses. And there will never be a perfect time to start. So, if not now, then when?

So here I am, taking a leap of faith. Hoping that the world wide web will somehow make room for another little blog about something so frivolous as pretty paper. I'm pulling back the curtain to my small business in its' fledgling state, and writing about my simple and quite life as a full time mom and part time designer in a bucolic town at the base of the Wasatch mountains in Utah.

Wish me luck, and please excuse the mess as this blog is still under construction.